Not mine, but it is worthy:
I had a divorce that tanked while we were in court for the prove-up. The wife decided that she wanted “the dog”. The husband informed her that “the dog” had died a couple of years before. The wife called him a liar and said that she had SEEN “the dog” when she HAPPENED to drive by his house. The husband explained that what she had seen was one of “the dog’s” puppies, and again explained that “the dog” was dead. Wife again loudly disclaimed that she wanted “the dog”,and scribbled out her name on the Decree. The husband offered to drive to San Antonio, dig up the remains of “the dog”, and deliver them to her. The wife sulked for several minutes, then grabbed the Decree, re-signed it, and walked out of the courtroom.